For many years parental alienation (sometimes called parental alienation syndrome) has been a feature of divorce and separation cases. It is the name given to a situation where one parent actively prevents or discourages a child from spending time with their other parent, often leading to a breakdown of the child’s relationship with that parent.
In December 2024 the Family Justice Council (FJC) issued new guidance on how courts should deal with a child’s unexplained reluctance, resistance or refusal to spend time with one parent when that parent alleges the other of engaging in alienating behaviour. Parental alienation syndrome is now not a term that is used but I suspect that the term “parental alienation” will remain in common usage for some time.
How can I recognise parental alienation / alienating behaviour?
Examples of types of behaviour that some parents engage in or are accused of engaging in are –
- repeatedly or constantly criticising or belittling the other parent;
- unjustifiably limiting or restricting contact or undermining contact with the other parent;
- forbidding discussion about the other parent;
- creating the impression that the other parent dislikes or does not love the child or has harmed or intends to harm them;
- denying or prohibiting emotional responsiveness to the other parent or spurning, terrorising, isolating, corrupting or exploiting them.
What can be done about parental alienation / alienating behaviours?
If you think that your child’s other parent has behaved in any of those ways or if you have been accused of any of the above, you may well end up in the Family Court asking a judge to decide whether, where, when and how your child should have contact with their non-resident parent.
Does parental alienation syndrome Exist?
The FCJ report makes clear that there is no such thing as “parental alienation syndrome”. This follows the example of many countries around the world that have made the same change.
How can I prove parental alienation / alienating behaviour?
What the report introduces is the concept of “alienating behaviour”. For the judge to decide that a parent is engaging in alienating behaviour, the court needs to be satisfied that three conditions are proved:
- The child is refusing, resisting or reluctant to engage in a relationship with one parent or carer.
- The refusal, resistance or reluctance is not consequent on the actions of the non-resident parent towards the child or the resident parent; and
- The resident parent has engaged in behaviours that have directly or indirectly impacted on the child, leading to the child’s refusal, resistance or reluctance to engage in the relationship with the other parent.
How can I prove that I have not alienated my child from his other parent?
Some other new phrases that the report has introduced are the following:
- attachment, affinity and alignment (“AAA“) – reasons why children may favour one parent over another, or reject a parent, which are typical emotional responses to parenting experiences and not the result of psychological manipulation by a parent;
- appropriate justified rejection (“AJR“) – situation where a child’s rejection of a parent is an understandable response to that parent’s behaviour towards the child and/or the other parent;
- alienating behaviours (“AB“) – psychologically manipulative behaviours, intended or otherwise, by a parent towards a child which had resulted in the child’s reluctance, resistance or refusal to spend time with the other parent;
- protective behaviours (“PB“) – behaviours by a parent towards a child in order to protect the child from exposure to abuse by the other parent, or from suffering harm (or greater harm) as a consequence of the other parent’s abuse.
- Reluctance, resistance or refusal (“RRR“) – behaviours by a child concerning their relationship with, or spending time with, a parent which may have a variety of potential causes.
- So, for one parent to successfully prove that the other has engaged in alienating behaviour, it must be shown that the child is drawing back from one parent not as a result of anything that parent has done, but because of the resident parent’s malign influence. The court will consider each parent’s story and explanation, all the available evidence and decide whether there is evidence of alienating behaviours and, if so, what should be done to restore the child’s relationship with the other parent.
How to prove parental alienation / alienating behaviours
What is very clear from the FJC report is that any allegations must be evidence based. Keeping a journal of important (and sometimes seemingly unimportant) events that concern their children is one of the most effective sources of evidence, whether you are alleging, or defending allegations of, alienating behaviours.
It may also be possible to obtain other evidence from schools, GPs, social workers or others, although tread carefully because the collection of that evidence must usually be managed by a judge. Audio or video evidence can sometimes help but can also lead to problems for the party that produces it.
The report is clear that the behaviour response of a child is not evidence of the behaviour of an adult.
What happens if my child doesn’t want to see their other parent because of domestic abuse?
Very often parental alienation / alienating behaviours and domestic violence are alleged in the same case. The court has to decide whether the child’s RRR (reluctance, resistance or refusal) to see their other parent is because of the abuse of the non-resident parent or the alienating behaviour (AB) of the parent they live with.
Domestic abuse is a crime and the FJC report makes clear that it is a much more serious problem than parental alienation behaviours. So, the court will not decide that alienating behaviours is just as bad a domestic abuse.
The Family Court can hold a hearing to determine whether domestic abuse has taken place. If the court decides the non-resident parent has perpetrated domestic abuse, the judge may also decide that it has caused the child’s appropriate justified response (AJR) and / or the resident parent’s protective behaviours (PB).
As with allegations of alienating behaviours, it is important that a parent who alleges domestic abuse brings evidence to the court of specific incidents when the abuse was perpetrated. Keeping a journal is the best way to record that evidence in my experience. Audio and video evidence can help, but can sometimes cause problems in case presentation. Also, there are many charities and organisations that offer practical and emotional support to the survivors of domestic abuse. And they can help record evidence and build up your confidence.
What can the court do about parental alienation / alienating behaviours?
The court has the power to order and enforce the resumption of contact between a child and their non-resident parent. Judges can be specific as to how it is to take place and how a reintroduction to one parent is to be managed.
The court might commission help from an expert to advise how best to restore the relationship between a child and the parent they have been alienated from.
Often the court will take a longer term view of what is in the child’s best interests, keeping in mind that the law does include a presumption that it is in the child’s best interests to have a relationship with both parents unless the contrary is proved.
Guidance from senior judges in previous cases emphasises the importance of the courts intervening as early as possible to restore contact between a child and parent. Judges have the power to order interim contact at an early hearing in the case.
The court may consider whether the child should move to live with their other parent. This is a serious decision, however, and one that is not taken lightly.
How Wedlake Bell can help
If you are affected by any of the issues in this article or if you need advice on making or defending a court application that involves issues of parental alienation / alienating behaviours or domestic abuse, please contact Alex Davies.
Alex is a Partner and head of the Family Law team at Wedlake Bell in the City of London. The team are experts at dealing with children’s law and child arrangement disputes.